the sinner in me
2009 Resolutions
Keep studying
Be a great boyfriend, and a good son
Be more all-rounded
Stop shrinking and start growing again
Be able to answer to myself
My Second Wind
I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten. The past. Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear.
the fallen saint left at 2:09 pm
i've changed. (what's new?) i'm fully conscious of this. maybe i haven't changed, but rather i've begun to act on my impulses and decisions more because i now have the means to attain them.
the fallen saint left at 1:14 am
Men in general judge more by the sense of sight than by the sense of touch, because everyone can see but only a few can test by feeling. Everyone sees what you seem to be, few know what you really are; and those few do not dare take a stand against the general opinion.
the fallen saint left at 9:48 am
don't for a second think it doesn't hurt me, or that i'm not trying. the whole incident has blown itself out of proportion, but it's blown over and i'm more put off by these people than i ever was before.
the fallen saint left at 12:28 am
i have now embarked on an unenviable task of attempting to read two dense books concurrently. not at the same time with one eye on each different page, for i am no iguana, but that i'm going through a book in the day and another in the night.
the fallen saint left at 12:00 am
it's been literally months since i got by a day without having to worry about hair in my eyes. now i'm back to that stage again, and happily so, though someone doesn't seem to share my sentiments.
the fallen saint left at 9:49 pm
i will try and understand, to learn, to feel and to care, in order to better myself for you. what we have together means a lot to me.
the fallen saint left at 9:01 am
sometimes you really don't know what hit you.
the fallen saint left at 6:47 am
at this moment, i don't think i can ask for anything more.
the fallen saint left at 10:29 pm
(:
the fallen saint left at 11:45 pm you deserve someone better..
the fallen saint left at 7:03 am
Monday, April 30, 2007
my 300th post
.. or so blogger tells me - i didn't bother to count.today being the 30th of april, i'd like to first wish my twin, aka my most respected platonic female friend, a happy 21st birthday. your party on saturday was awesome(ly green)! this is the only time i'm using a different colour in a normal post, ok. then again, this isn't just a post. it's your birthday post! (:so a little tribute, and i hope it doesn't turn mushy along the way. you've changed a lot from when i first knew you, but you've always become stronger. the many things that have happened in your life, you've managed to take in your stride and use them to redefine the boundaries of possibilities. i look up to you as an individual in a big way.green t-shirt from NUM specifically bought for your party - $49.90journey from home to your party venue and back - (about) $15elation on dionne lim xinghui's face - priceless
happy birthday babe! mine's coming up exactly 1 calendar month from today, and i'm looking forward to our buffet lunch or dinner at wherever place that we've yet to decide on yet.
Friday, April 27, 2007
ponder
i spend more freely these days; it's not a temptation to use my money, but rather, when it comes to buying things, i don't hesitate to get whatever i want, without worrying about the price tag. i'll be the first to admit i'm not loaded, but this is money i earnt from my own sacrifice and effort, and i know i don't have to answer to anyone about it save myself. neither am i living on the limit - i'm not positioning myself to be prodded off the edge of the cliff.
is there anything wrong in the fact that i find nothing wrong with it?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
from Liar's Poker
- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
Friday, April 20, 2007
another shard
right now i don't think i'm the best person for you. i'm sorry if you see it any other way than how i explain it to be, because i'm not hiding anything.
i really don't want to argue with you.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
my little endeavour
to be honest, i am quite interested to discover the outcome of this endeavour.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
oh yeah baby
i was in front of the mirror today, combing my hair before leaving the house, and charmie popped in and said with a look of longing, "goodbye, hair". the girl never fails to amuse me (:
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
brief update
and i just looked at twin's birthday wishlist and am really contemplating which item on the list to get for her. (you better get me something really good for my 21st too!) *mumble grumble.. haha. aiyah, anything for my twinnie (:
Sunday, April 08, 2007
insomnia
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
contented sigh
i won't risk insulting what i've got by trying to describe it with words.
i give thanks that i'm lucky enough to have this feeling.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
when words are unnecessary
helpless
that's the last thing anyone wants to hear from the person he/she loves. sigh.